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The CatBox Archives

 

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4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Doc@DrIrene.com

Comments for 27 Years

Comments:  27 Years...

Material posted here is intended for educational purposes only, and must not be considered a substitute for informed advice from your own health care provider.

Courtesy of Dr. Irene Matiatos   Copyrightę 1998-2002. The material on this website may be distributed freely for non-commercial or educational purposes provided that author credit is given. For commercial distribution, please contact the author at Doc@drirene.com

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Friday September 13, 2002

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Friday September 13, 2002

Anisa, I feel like I know you. I truly feel like you deserve better, nobody deserves to be mistreated and cheated on in a marriage. And your exactly right only God will judge you, not man, and your husband will also be judged, he will not be over looked when his day comes, that goes for everyone. I will keep you and your children in my prayers, and one last thing, don't give up on your children, they love you. Thank you for sharing your story, it touched my heart.

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Saturday September 14, 2002

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Saturday September 14, 2002

Leave that fool... and live your life. Happiness surrounds those who make thier own happiness. If your unhappy, then the people who love you and care for you will be unhappy. Sometimes those feelings and insecurites come back to haunt you in other relationships. Specifically the ones with your sons. Once you are away from him, You can focus on You making You a better person not only for yourself, but for your daughter, and sons. In your writting I see you need to Exhale. To breathe again, to take yourself out of this hurtful relationship. Save yourself...

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Sunday September 15, 2002

You guys don't know how much it means to have. . .validation. Why I still expect it I'm not sure. I am sad to say I have given up on my sons. My youngest was incarcerated off and on since he was 14. I stuck by him during this time and my husband as usual left it to me to handle. Then he was finally released at 19 and stayed home a week and then went back to the crips! I have no respect for a coward and to me that is what gansterism is all about. Power. . .low self-esteem Anyway, During this time my perfectly healthy daughter started to have seizures from the anxiety brought on by my son's separation from the family unit. Again my VAH would disappear so that if she seized he wouldn't be around to deal with it. Somehow being alone made me seek Jesus. My oldest has always been like his dad. In fact, he is a VA as well! I gave his girlfriend this web address. I pray she GETs out before he impregnates her and she is stuck with that clown. No siree bob, I don't need the aggravation the men in my family put upon me!

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Tuesday September 17, 2002

Dear Anisa, I also was married to a narcisst for 30 years. I was married when I was 17 years old. Your story is very familiar to me. My children were also abused by him, verbally mostly, physically at occasion. I did not find out about some of the incidences until just recently when my daughter (now 18) told me about it. I too was somewhat blind and did not realize for many years what was really going on with this man. He was and is narcisisstice, mean, abusive and totally self-centered and never has and never will admit that he ever did anything wrong. I am now divorced (for 4 years) and am extremely happy and content. I was in therapy for 2 years and did a tremendous amount of personal growing. I am now serene and happy, but I had to learn many things about myself and also about other people and how to recognize personality disorders. And I did my homework. As a matter of fact before recognizing it I got involved with another man that also had a personality disorder (borderline) but I recognized it and got out of it, even though I did get a heartbreak from it, but I have learned that a broken heart is not going to kill you. What is going to kill you is being involved with a person like that. I wish you good luck and congratulations in getting out of that kind of relationship. Just walk away from it. Do not stay in touch with your ex husband, not even because of the children. He will always try to manipulate, even when you are married again to someone else. And he will find another victim, believe me. they have no problem doing that. But you have to realize, that these people are very unhappy, miserable people, even if they would never admit it, and most of the people around them know that and also know that these people are totally useless. Good Luck Maria

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Tuesday September 17, 2002

Anisa- It took a lot of courage and strength to share your story. I believe you've made the right decision to leave this man. You gave him a chance to be a father and a husband to you by staying in this marriage for their sake and look what happened. Years have gone by and he is the same if not worse. It would have been better for both your sons to not have had him in their life considering the path they have choosen. Most of all, you deserve so much more than this! Keep in mind that you are not responsible for choices made by your H and your sons. They are adults and are responsible for ALL decisions and actions they make in their life despite whatever circumstances. Look at you, despite some terrible things that have happened in your life you still haven't given up. You are realizing that you deserve much more than to be treated the way you have been. I'm glad you've found the support of this other man to be your friend to help you. You have the power to change your life. All it takes is belief in yourself and God (which I see you have). One thing I learned on this site is to trust that "inner" voice. It always knows what is right for you. If you doubt that, then think back to decisions you've made in the past when your inner voice was telling you differently. It took me years to learn to trust my own inner voice until it started shouting at me through my dreams. I wish you all the best on your new path. FEM4000

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Tuesday September 17, 2002

Anisa, I think it's wonderful that you were strong enough to get out of an abusive situation. Give your sons time to come around. Hopefully you can get your son out of the gang. That's going to take some time, patience, & attention. Good luck to you & thanks for sharing your story! Lonxe

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Saturday September 21, 2002

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Tuesday September 24, 2002

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Tuesday September 24, 2002

I HAVE A FRIEND WHO SAYS HERR HUSBAND IS LIKE THE GUYS YOU MENTIONED. bUT HER OWN DAUGHTER COMMENTED TO ME THAT WAS ACTUALLY MY FRIEND WHO IS NARCISSISTIC. how can I help.

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Thursday September 26, 2002

Your story is what my life was especially the abuse...I am glad you're doing better and I pray that God will bring closure and healing for you and your family...and even him (rependence). gee

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Thursday September 26, 2002

Your story is what my life was especially the abuse...I am glad you're doing better and I pray that God will bring closure and healing for you and your family...and even him (repentence). gee

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Friday October 04, 2002

Anisa Good for you. You are doing the right thing, and are on your way. It is never too late. As far as God judging you, you can still make it right. And tell your friend to keep up the good work. Sounds like he will make a wonderful husband for u and a good father for your children.

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Thursday June 12, 2003

Your story makes me sad because I know exactly what you are talking about.I had to check the name because my mom went thru exactly the same.Two boys,one girl(me).She was married to my dad 25 years and found a lover and friend that gave her the courage to leave.They are no longer together but she will always be grateful to him for his support.One brother was angry and blamed my mom for all the abuse he endured.The other was depressed and hospitalized.Myself,I think I married my Father.I'm not strong like she was.I'm scared to death and don't even know if I want to leave.It would be so easy if he was always awful,ya know?Feel free to e-mail me.grimfamily@Hotmail.com

 

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