February 12, 2001
Joe
was getting a divorce and going though the dividing of the furniture.
She wanted the TV set. He fought her for the set with the lawyers and
finally the judge decided it. Well years later the battle still gets
him upset. But not the way you may think. He is upset because he did
not want the set! In fact he would have given her a new set.
It was
his anger that was fighting her and the set was the excuse he was
using to get to her. He has apologized to her. They have two boys they
are sharing every two weeks and both Joe and his ex are remarried.
But, the bottom line it is 6 years after their divorce and it still
brothers him how he acted! Joe’s advice: Give her what she wants. She
is the mother of your children. You must be civil for the kids to grow
up healthy. (But you can only do that if you're not terribly angry...)
Julie's husband was divorcing her and
she kept the house. When her husband found his new residence, she
packed his belongings and stacked them in a corner for pick up. That was 10 years ago
- and she still feels pain
in her hands when she remembers packing his stuff. Julie’s advice: Let him
to do his own packing and move when you're not around. (But how do you
do that when "throwing him out" by packing his stuff is the only way
you have to get back at him for leaving you?)
Anger
Anger is BIG. It affects our life and our health. Wayne Misner, author of Men
Don't Listen and contributing author to this site is interested in
writing an article on what victims and others do with their anger. Maybe
we'll publish some of the results here. Maybe Dr. Irene will coauthor.
Help us help others by sharing your experiences with
your anger: how if affects you and how you are
resolving it.
Feel free to post below or email one of us with your
answers.
Many thanks,
Doc & Wayne
July 21, 2002 - Survey removed. See the article and
results here!
Blame never affirms, it assaults.
Blame never restores,
it wounds.
Blame never solves, it
complicates.
Blame never unites, it
separates.
Blame never smiles, it
frowns.
Blame never forgives,
it rejects.
Blame never forgets, it
remembers.
Blame never builds, it
destroys.
