Sent: Monday, October 25, 1999
Subject: What's a Judge to Do?
I was very bothered by this e-mail correspondence, just had to write. Who
says that the abuser is more stable than the abused, excuse me? I
can see this might be true in an isolated case or two, but to
generalize this notion is bad, bad, bad.
My abuser can get the kids to mind quicker than I can, does this make him
more stable, and a more worthy parent? No, this is because they are
more afraid of him. They are scared of being led by the hair across
the room, or screamed at, or hit. Abusers are notoriously impatient
and short-tempered, is this a better atmosphere for children? I have
seen children taken from their mothers more and more, and I think in most
cases it is a mistake. OK, I'm a mother, I'm biased. I'm also
a step mom (my husband has custody of his children by a first marriage),
and that makes me biased too. I've seen first hand the consequences
of children being raised by an abuser, instead of their mother, who
happened to be the victim.
My apologies if I mistook the tone of this letter, but I hope there are
not many in the legal profession who feel this way.
Slow down! You are
misinterpreting what you are reading because you are too emotional! You
missed the point of the exchange!
The attorney is
commenting on the dilemma the Courts face every day, and is using the
example you are referring to as an example (see Delaney
and you will understand why). She is not advocating any position!
We're all on the
same side, OK?