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4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Doc@DrIrene.com

I Tried It Again

I Tried It Again...

"What isn't tried won't work." - Claude McDonald

February 16, 2000

After 17 yrs of being abused, I divorced my husband. Then, about three months later, one of his friends called and asked for his old girlfriend by name. I told them they had the wrong number, but I knew immediately she was with him. And I realized, it wasn't finished for me. I thought he was having the idyllic relationship with her that I'd longed for.

 
 I wasn't ready to let him or my hopes go. I had thought he would realize what he was losing and make changes. I called him. It wasn't long before he sent the girlfriend packing and moved back home.
 
For three months, things seemed to have changed. Then they got worse. I had given him more to hurt me with: I was the "ultimate manipulator" for trying to make him change by divorcing him. I had "forced" him to turn to another woman. I was the "primary parent" anytime something came up with the kids. It took me nine more months to build up the courage to make him leave. 
 
He didn't leave voluntarily. I had to have the Sheriff's Dept come out and make him leave. He called 40 times in the next 24 hours. He even called my Mom long distance to have her ask me to call him. During that 24 hours I got a temporary restraining order. When we went to court, they made it a permanent order for protection. It allows for absolutely "No contact" - not even through third parties. 
 
I have caller ID on the phone and have put call block on all his friends numbers, so they can't call me by "mistake" again. It's hard, especially when we have to exchange the kids for visitation. He says nasty things to the kids about me when he has them. I don't respond. I am finished this time. He won't get the chance to push my buttons again.
 
I'm going to counseling, and reading everything I can about abusive relationships. I thought abuse was only physical violence. Boy am I learning! I don't want to live out my life alone, but I realize I have to get healthy before I can begin a new relationship. Thank You for your website!

Thank you - and best wishes for each day of the rest of your life. Dr. Irene

Ps: I emailed you to let you know you were published, but your address bounced!