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4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Doc@DrIrene.com

Thank You

Thank You

May 27, 2000

Dear Dr. Irene:

I just wanted to take two seconds to thank you.  With your help I have come a long way since I first entered this site.  I have posted anonymously, changing my name every time (I guess I had a weird paranoia.. what can I tell ya, the brain was a little weird when I came on board).  :) 

I have posted to Outside Influences-His Mom, If Only the House Was Clean and most recently, I am Proud of my Husband.  I think you knew it was me who wrote these in spite of my tricks of anonymity.  At any rate, things still could not be better.  This house is a new house and most recently even friends and family have commented on how my husband is a new man.  You see, his change isn't just towards me and the kids but with everyone around him that he is in contact with.  It is so nice to see him even just sitting with my sibs chatting, which was something he never did.  

But I owe this all to you because you were the only "therapist" I had!  Following your advise, reading interactive e-mails where you stated what to do and what not to do put me in the proper thinking mode so that I could change myself - obviously causing him to change - if he wanted to continue the marriage. You owe me a tiny, little bit; you owe "all this" to yourself for having the wisdom to seek solutions - and then imposing the requisite internal changes that were necessary for you to apply suggestions you thought were reasonable!

It is so frustrating because I still read the board and want to just jump right in there and help these people. Go for it! I know that almost anyone could change with the proper situation because my husband was very bad.  Worse then you can imagine and the complete change in him is so rewarding.. you will never know.  It saddens me not to be able to help the others...if only they could just get to that place inside of them where their strength is.  It is there, because otherwise they could not have withstood living in these conditions without snapping as many have lived this way for years. Yes.

 Anyway, whatever you did for me, I will never forget it.  This was the best thing you could have done...putting this site over the internet.  I know I would still be sitting in my old situation had I never tripped over it way back when.  Anyway, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I wish their was a way I could give you something back in return.  You just did!  Not only do I feel wonderful reading this, but your letter is inspiration to many others in difficult situations; if you did it, so can they... Take care and I will still visit regularly as I know I must always keep thinking this way when married to someone like Bert.  It has to be a way of life...Yes! And it's healthy for both of you!...but at least now it is a good life.  Thank you, thank you, thank you...   Katia

Wow! Thank you; thank you; thank you! This is music to my ears! Yippee! Hug, hug.

My very best wishes for your continued success. Dr. Irene