|March 12, 2000
Dear Dr. Irene,
A couple of questions regarding boundaries that come up for me as a result
of a posting on the Message Yak Board.
Someone recently posted a message that had a number of Biblical quotations
in it. While I realize that some find considerable comfort in their
religion, the posting personally made me uncomfortable because I'm not a
Christian and know that a number of other people at the site are of
different religions and faiths as well. Therefore, I stated my preference
that people refrain from that type of posting. I did not deride or
attack the original poster; I simply made a request.
There have been several postings since mine that have objected to my
request, most of which simply state that they have a different opinion.
However, one response in particular I felt implied that I was somehow out
of line with my request. No. You were not out of line. My question to you is don't we as
individuals have a right to make our preferences known? Yes. Isn't that a part of "owning our own
stuff?" Yes. For example, when a
representative of a TV talk show started posting at the Board, I protested
that I didn't think that that was an appropriate use of the space and
requested that he/she not do it anymore. Thank you.
I didn't catch that one.
In daily life, if I hear someone
tell a racial and/or sexist joke, I will walk away or state that I prefer
not to hear it. At this point, I've made my preferences known.
If the Board becomes too heavily engaged in Christian philosophy, then I
have a couple of different options: (a) I can skip over such
postings or (b) I can choose not to visit the Board anymore, correct? Yes. But was I wrong is voicing my own preferences
and concerns? No. You did absolutely nothing wrong.
And, this is not a matter of right and wrong. You were just
outnumbered. People relate best to others who have similar beliefs and
value systems. Religious orientation is just one potential fork in the
road between people.
At one point
there were similar problems with the Ouchhh! support
list. Ouchhh! is the "entry" list. To make room for
everybody, I created a new list, God_Help_Us for the biblically-oriented.
This has worked out well. This past week I created another new list,
Personal_Responsibility because Ouchhh! members were misunderstanding each
other over early and later recovery issues.
I can do the same
with the Yak Board. There is room for everybody interested in recovery!
Readers: Please email me and
let me know if there is a need for a Christian Board. In fact, check the home page. I'm going to poll you guys!
Just sign me,
I have a lot to learn. Thank you for writing..