of time or resources you give others.
Gets angry if you spend "too much time" with
friends, family, or children.
Insists that it is "a bad time" to talk to family on the
Feels that resources are "wasted" if given to children.
Gets angry if you do favors for other people or give them things.
Would rather throw something away than give it to someone else.
disinterested in or feels threatened by your personal desires or
Finds your hobbies boring, pointless, unproductive, or a
waste of time.
Is uncooperative about attending parties or events that interest
Picks a fight or creates a crisis just before an event that is
important to you.
States or implies that your interests should not interfere with
spending time with them.
rude or inconsiderate of others in a self-centered way.
Insists on discussing something with you while you are
trying to read or watch television.
Expects you to be the one who answers the door or telephone.
Expects you to drop what you are doing when summoned.
Interrupts others while talking on a consistent basis.
Will not act to accommodate others' convenience or comfort.
won't go outside to smoke
will not turn down TV or radio while others are
Is unconcerned and unapologetic if rude behavior is pointed out.
not respect your right to make your own decisions.
Insists that your decision "affects them" and
therefore should be a "joint" decision.
Gets angry or hurt if you don't take their advice.
Criticizes or questions the wisdom of decisions that you make
without their input.
their own logic or intellect to be superior to all others.
Insists that their way is the "right way".
Claims that their arguments are based on logic or sound evidence and
that yours are not.
Places no value on decisions made based on feelings or intuition.
Believes that any opinion you have is invalid, illogical,
hysterical, or selfish.
Is completely intolerant of any criticism of their own behavior.
Is confident that their employer and/or employees are all defective
Considers your friends to be idiots.
opinionated and critical of others
Racist or sexist.
Dogmatic about behavior in others.
Unwilling to tolerate opinions that differ from their own.
Has double standards for behavior.
Is rude to your family.
Dislikes your family.
"trouble" at work.
Is chronically unemployed or changes jobs frequently.
Explains employment set-backs as some sort of victimization.
Believes that their boss treats them poorly.
Believes that their co-workers are working against them.
laws or social customs that interfere with their own goals or
Sees no point in observing holidays or giving gifts.
Is disinterested in following family or religious customs.
Believes that people who work hard for a living are
Is scornful of the government or the "system".
Uses illegal drugs.
very concerned about their public image.
Treats you better in public than in private.
Gets angry at you if they believe that you have somehow made them
look bad to others.
Brags about you or your accomplishments to others, but never
compliments you in private.
to make you jealous or insecure
Threatens to leave you.
Hints or states that they have other lovers waiting on the side.
Compares you to previous lovers.
Admires strangers and compares you to them.
Tells you that no one will ever care about you the way they do.
jealous and suspicious.
Accuses you of infidelity.
Insists that friends of the opposite sex are trying to seduce you.
States or implies that you got a job offer or interview because of
Doesn't want you to take part in an activity or outing because you
might meet someone else there.
Pressures you to move in together.
Pressures you to have sex before you are ready.
Proposes marriage early in the relationship.
not respect your privacy
Reads your diary or journal.
Opens your mail.
others to achieve their goals
Uses guilt trips.
Does things that are dishonest or illegal.
Attempts to coerce you into doing things that make you
Threatens suicide or homicide if you don't cooperate with them.
Lectures you endlessly until you agree.
easily angered at others who interfere with their activities.
Engages in "Road Rage".
Reactions are out of proportion to level of inconvenience.
intolerant of children or animals.
Will not get up to feed or change the baby.
Is unwilling to have pets or children because of the mess or
Shows preferential treatment between children (especially
"natural" vs. "step" children).
Believes that children don't deserve the level of treatment or
support as adults.
that THEY are the victim in the relationship.
Accuses you of being selfish, rude, self-centered,
Claims that you are the one undermining the relationship.
Accuses you of not loving them or not caring about them.
Threatens suicide or homicide if you leave them.
Inability to put themselves in another's shoes.
Unwilling to provide comfort to others unless "blame"
clearly lies elsewhere.
Makes minimal effort to care for others when sick or injured while
complaining about the inconvenience.
Cruel to animals.
Considers donations to charity a waste.
Unable to acknowledge or respond to pain in others that is not
Turns up TV when you have a headache
Insists on spicy food when you have an upset
Expects you to help with chores when you are
down your self esteem and erodes your confidence.
Tone of voice unreasonably deriding or scornful for the
Questions your ability to do simple things.
Asks you to make a decision and then rejects your decision. Often
asking you to
decide over again.
with or attempts to control your career.
Accuses you of being overly sensitive to criticism.
Calls you names.
Criticizes you openly.
Pressures you to quit or change your job.
Thinks that your employer interferes with your marriage.
Thinks that your co-workers/employer/employees are defective
Attempts to resolve conflicts you have at work for you.
Seeks to "help you" with your career, and is upset if you
Attempts to choose your job or work projects for you.
you or threatens to punish you for "misbehaving
Strands you somewhere.
Gives you the "silent treatment".
Yells at you..
that a "discussion" about your relationship is more
important that any other obligation or activity.
Makes you late to work or social activities because they want to
Picks a fight with you at bedtime and then won't let you go to sleep