February 24, 2003
Hello. I spoke to you on-line about living
with a controlling caretaker: the good- the caring, and the bad- the
controlling. You asked me to write a bit about it. Here is my attempt to
communicate my feelings speaking about the pain I felt until I was tutored
with the wisdom and insight found on your website. I have signed this with
my initials instead of my name to retain my anonymity. Thank you so
much for your website. It has been indispensable to me for the past 2 1/2
years. Dear DJ, Thank you
for your heartfelt poetry and your kind words. I hope one day you'll be
writing happy songs instead... Warmest regards, Doc
I lie here in bitter solitude
next to him.
Thoughts swirl through my mind
like dry leaves in windy autumn.
Words teeter precariously on my tongue
begging to be shouted.
If my views are aborted at conception,
is there reason to think at all?
When emotions are suppressed before experienced,
the dormant spirit yearns to cry again.
I suffocate on words unspoken
resigned to the futility of utterance.
They fall on deaf ears with no understanding
of the depth of anguish they convey.
Withdrawn into the hardened exterior
to cover the vulnerability I long to share,
The vibrant woman of times past
weeps silently in the blackened night.