Below is an interesting email I received from an angry guy who lost his girlfriend. He doesn't get it. Think we can give him some help? Read his email and submit your advice at the bottom.
Sent: Thursday, September 23, 1999 10:30 PM
Enough of that, I've been though some crazy relationships and thought I knew everything, but of course I was wrong. This girl I speak of taught me alot. I never that I would be able to trust a female ever again, but this girl took me to another level, she showed me things that I never thought existed, like trust. I guess I ruined it through drinking. That will do it! I have been drinking for a long time and this Friday will be two months drink free (9-24-99). Good for you! Go to program and do the steps too! And as insecure as this may sound, I did and do it for her. But hey, everyone needs that push. Its OK to use her as a higher power initially. It's hard to feel good enough about yourself when you first get sober. But, I hope down the line, you realize that the only person in the world to do it for...is yourself. And as you have heard before, you learn through trial and error. But in this for instance, I wish on my life I would have learned this before I lost the best friend I ever had. She will not talk to me. What you did to her? Do you know?
Back to your topic ABUSE. I admit I didn't like her talking to frat guys or guys that were just being nice, I was reverted to my past relationships, (my down fall). I felt intimidated. WHY? Because you don't trust her - since you don't trust yourself. How can you possibly not worry that she won't do dumb things if you have done/do dumb things? Also, note that anger and addiction coexist more often than not. Make sure you work out the anger stuff too. Doing so will really get at the addiction.
This is why I feel good about myself: I listen to her, I told her everyday she was the most beautiful girl in the world, I told her "she was the bomb". I constantly told her three to four time a day she was the best. WHY WHY Why?
Good luck to you. -Dr. Irene
advice for R? He's issued a cry for help. Let's throw him a few ropes.
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