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The CatBox Archives

 

(Archives)

4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Doc@DrIrene.com

Name Calling

Name Calling

 

From: KJB

To: <drirene@drirene.com>

Sent: Thursday, April 08

Subject: Message from KJB

Dr.,
I just found your website and enjoyed reading about verbal abuse.  My husband of almost two years seems to fit the description.  And I had a counselor we've gone to a few times tell me today that my situation is very  serious.  It's a scary thought....figuring out what to do to.  Currently, here's what's happening:

Bad name calling about every day
I'm "stupid, fat, worthless"
Hits in arm that leaves a bruise
Hair pulling, hard
Shoving
Basic emotional distress

I guess it's hard to actually believe a loved one is doing this  --- so they aren't really a loved one are they?  This is my day of awakening.  I'm not going to jump to any solutions immediately, but I wanted you to know  that your website was helpful for me. I think I'll order a book on the topic too.  And start keeping a very detailed journal of his behavior.  It's easy to think that I'm crazy -- isn't it?  Thank God we don't have children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You may email me back if you want, but please be non-specific in case my husband reads it before I do.  He doesn't like me looking up this stuff on the Internet. (imagine that!) AND PLEASE DON'T JUST REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE, OR IF YOU DO, ERASE WHAT I WROTE!
KJB

Dear KJB,

I hope you see this since I would not dream of writing back to you. Thank God you woke up. Stop being intimidated by this man. If he hits you again or pulls your hair or shoves or threatens you, call the police!  Press charges! If you love him, throw him out! (Even if you don't love him, throw him out, but throw him out especially if you love him.) Why? Well, not only is he hurting you, he is out of control and is hurting himself. Respect yourself enough to not put up with his antics and watch what happens...watch him cry to reform and come back into your life! As crazy as it sounds, like a young child acting out, he needs limits to be imposed. He cannot impose them himself. At least not yet. Good luck to you and may God bless...

Dr. Irene