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4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Doc@DrIrene.com

Mindset of the Codependent

Mindset of The Codependent

 
bulletMy good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.
bulletMy good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.
bulletYour struggles affect my serenity
bulletMy mental attention focuses on solving your problems or relieving your pain.
bulletMy mental attention is focused on pleasing you.
bulletMy mental attention is focused on manipulating you to "do it my way."
bulletMy self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problems.
bulletMy self-esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.
bulletMy own hobbies and interests are put aside.
bulletMy time is spent sharing your interests and hobbies.
bulletYour clothing and personal appearance is dictated by my desires as I feel you are a reflection of me.
bulletI am not aware of how I feel; I am aware of how you feel. I am not aware of what I want; I ask what you want. If I am not aware, I assume.
bulletThe dreams I have for my future are linked to you.
bulletMy fear of rejection determines what I say or do.
bulletI use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.
bulletMy social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you.
bulletThe quality of my life is in relation to the quality of yours.

courtesy of: Children Youth and Family Consortium Electronic Clearinghouse. Permission is granted to create and distribute copies of this document for noncommercial purposes provided that the author and CYFCEC receive acknowledgment and this notice is included. Phone (612) 626-1212 EMAIL: cyfcec@maroon.tc.umn.edu