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So, You Love A Narcissistic Woman...

by Dr. Irene

"If we lead good lives, the times are also good.
As we are, such are the times." - St. Augustine

February , 2001

There are different types of narcissistic women as there are different types of narcissistic men. You met "Dana" here. Dana is a "classic" narcissist: the one who thinks she's wonderful and has it all together. That's why she goes all out to make you believe it so you can give it back to her. For theatre buffs: think Evita Peron.

Chances are, if you love a narcissist like Dana, you are not reading this page. Why would you? You feel you are the luckiest person on earth. Your beloved is everything and more than you could possibly ask for. You support her; you protect her; you adore her.

You may be reading this page if she's distanced or dropped you (have you noticed how often that seems to happen?) or if you've been married to her for 20 years and you're fed up, though you don't understand why. You may even think you're the problem. (And you are your problem because you've allowed her to become your life.)

Loving the narcissistic woman is like chasing the impossible dream that, by definition, never materializes. You will spend your days chasing her, adoring her, doing for her, proving to her that she can trust you and that you'll never leave her, even when she pushes you away. Truth is, while you may have her for the moment, unless you've got what she wants, and that may change as she matures, you'll lose her. 

Keep in mind that while her values or religious ideals may prevent her from being unfaithful or divorcing, her need to get the narcissistic supplies she craves may override all other variables. She will simply find a rationalization for doing what she wants to do. ..


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