February , 2001
There are different types of narcissistic women as there are different types
of narcissistic men. You met "Dana" here. Dana
is a "classic" narcissist: the one who thinks she's wonderful and has it all
together. That's why she goes all out to make you believe it so you can give
it back to her. For theatre buffs: think Evita Peron.
Chances are, if you love a narcissist like Dana, you are
not reading this page. Why would you? You feel you are the luckiest person
on earth. Your beloved is everything and more than you could possibly ask
for. You support her; you protect her; you adore her.
You may be reading this page if she's distanced or dropped
you (have you noticed how often that seems to happen?) or if you've been married to her for 20 years and you're fed up, though
you don't understand why. You may even think you're the problem. (And you
are your problem because you've allowed her to become your life.)
Loving the narcissistic woman is like chasing the
impossible dream that, by definition, never materializes. You will spend
your days chasing her, adoring her, doing for her, proving to her that she
can trust you and that you'll never leave her, even when she pushes you
away. Truth is, while you may have her for the moment, unless you've got
what she wants, and that may change as she matures, you'll lose her.
Keep in mind that while her values or religious ideals may
prevent her from being unfaithful or divorcing, her need to get the
narcissistic supplies she craves may override all other variables. She will
simply find a rationalization for doing what she wants to do. ..