January 26, 2000
Dr. Irene,
Here is a story
about my experience as an abusive husband.
I had a problem
that was based on my own fear and insecurity as to whether Cindy, my
wife, needed me, loved me, or wanted to be with me. I would become angry
over stupid unimportant things and get verbally abusive and violent. I
never hit her, but if she hadn't done what was necessary to turn our
life together around, it may have someday come to that.
Three months ago
she did what she needed to allow me to take responsibility for what I
had become. She got a restraining order issued to me. At the time it was
like the end of the world. Now, after learning about myself through
therapy and counseling, I got to the root of my problem and I am
grateful for her doing something that brought about much needed change
in our relationship.
I no longer view
her as a possession or an object. I simply love her and by loving her
she has been allowed to love me in return. We are back together and by
going through the process of a restraining order and therapy we are now
closer than we have ever been. All I had to realize was that nobody can
be forced to love another person. All one can do is to show their love
by respecting the other person and if it is meant to be then you will
both be drawn together.
It took me nineteen
years to get to this better place and if it wasn't for Cindy allowing it
to happen we would still be struggling in a world without trust,
respect, or love.
We are now not only
husband and wife, but also very special friends. To almost lose
everything and then be able to recover together has been a wonderful
journey.
I hope some of your
contacts are able to get down to what really matters in their lives and
can realize that everything else is just small stuff.
Thanks for listening, Jeff
Dear Jeff,
I love it! More, more,
more! More stories like this, please!
Thank you for writing. I
know you realize you're not out of the woods yet (that takes time - a
track record of experiencing your ability to walk the walk when the
going gets tough), but, boy, are you on track.
Keep us posted.
My very best regards, Dr.
Irene
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