Sent: Wednesday, March 11, 1998 3:44 AM
Subject: what do I do?
My husband puts his job first. I have an asthmatic child who has
been referred to an allergist and pulmonologist. My husband drinks
over-the-counter sleeping pills. He is so under the influence that
he wets the bed, sofa, lazy boy, or wherever he chooses to pass out. I
clean it up. His chair reeks of urine. He never helps with the
He takes little interest in his condition. He is into pornography
on the satellite, internet, or magazines. When I am up in the
middle of the night with our child, he screams at me to make it stop.
crying agitates him, and he yells at me to make it stop. He has no
idea how much medication the child needs and has very little patience
In other words, I can not leave my child with him. I am
the sole care-giver. I am a school teacher as well. One
morning I asked my husband just to call my principal for me and he
fussed at me and said that I needed to go to work. Our son's temp.
was 106 degrees. He was lethargic and slept most of the morning.
When I took him to the pediatrician we had to go for X-rays because he
thought my son had pneumonia. I experienced this alone. I admitted
my son to the hospital on two occasions alone. When my husband did
come to the hospital, he was preoccupied with work. He left me on
one occasion to take my son
home alone. I am a very independent person. Normally, I
would not need so much emotional support. This respiratory
situation has drained me.
His medical records are so poor that a life insurance agency recently
I feel like a victim, but I don't
want to play one. My husband promised to go to the pulmonologist
with us to get family history, and then forgot. He stood me up for
the one year well-care checkup. I don't know what to do. I don't
know if I am ignoring my husband
because I am so preoccupied with my son's asthma or if I am in a
neglectful situation. My husband's dad is verbally abusive to his
mother. He is getting more
and more to me. He is very angry, even punched two holes in the
upstairs bedrooms. He is getting very insecure and
questions/accuses me of having an affair. He is so far off-base.
I am spending so much time caring for my son.
I have no one that I care to
share this with. Will you please respond and advise me? Am I in an
abusive situation? I have a Ph.D. in Marital Therapy. I may have
read too much. Please respond. I need someone.