Home

The CatBox Forum

Ask The Doc Board

 

8/14 Interactive Board: Accepting Reality - Or Not

2/9 Interactive Board: What Do I Do?

4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

 6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Doc@DrIrene.com


 

CatBox Forum Policy

Updated Decmber 3, 2008

The CatBox Forum focuses on victim/abuser issues in domestic violence/emotional abuse situations. This forum supports learning to take responsibility for your life vs. blaming other for your life. Please do not post your identifying information (real name & address, email address, etc.). Read the following carefully. By posting you agree to adhere to policy at all times.  If in doubt, ask the admins. CatBox@drirene.com

 

CatBox Forum Policy

The Administrative Team (AdminTeam) may update this policy at any time.

Rights

Members have the right to choose to stay, leave, gather additional information, vent and/or explore alternatives within the restraints of board rules. The rules exist to protect the rights of the membership at large, and the board's ability to function effectively.

When a thread goes off the subject, the member has a right to request that the thread go back on track and that the other items go into a new thread.

Members have the right to considerate, respectful treatment from other members. there is zero tolerance for discrimination based on race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, gender, age, physical disability, sexual orientation, etc.

Members have the right to privacy and to their own content. What is said here, stays here. Material posted on this site is not to be copied/posted/used elsewhere - except by the original poster. Posted material becomes the property of this site for the protection of the members and for the effective functioning of the board. In other words, if you write a book, you own the copyright to that book. When you give a copy of that book to the forum, you relinquish the right to have it returned to you. The CatBox will relinquish its copy of your book or modify it to render it unidentifyable if there is threat to your personal safety.

The CatBox has the right to retain, invisible, delete, or edit posts that oppose forum policy. The CatBox has no responsibility to retain or delete posts that have been made to its forums. Similarly, we are under no obligation to delete your account in the absence of personal safety issues.

Members have the right to a fair process for resolving differences amongst themselves. This should be done privately via PMs to individual members and/or to Admins. Public flaming, contentious, or disruptive posting is not tolerated.

Members are encouraged to embrace taking responsibility for their own emotional and mental health. One of the central values of this board is the fostering of personal responsibility and autonomy. We encourage:

Respectful posting in general.
Respectful posting of differences in opinion/individuality
Privacy: what is said in this forum *stays* in this forum
Posting that supports each other
Celebration of the diversity of each member
Good natured levity can disarm the most heated debate and is encouraged



Responsibilities

LIBEL - No slamming another Catboxer (calling names, personal attacks, false accusation with the intent to destroy reputation, etc.). It is okay to disagree with a person, but it is not okay to personally attack, use words out of context, etc.. Any person placing offensive, obscene, abusive or derogatory posts on the board or sending them to board members in PM form will be automatically banned. 

Furthermore Dr. Irene and drirene.com reserve the right to pursue libelous accusations against Dr. Irene and drirene.com to the fullest extent of the law.

If you see rude, libelous posts, report them asap to administration. When you use the "Report this post" option, it is sent to the AdminTeam.

THREAD ALTERCATIONS - Differences of opinion will occur from time to time and this is understood. Threads that generate into fights between posters will be locked and/or deleted.

TARGETING OTHER MESSAGE BOARDS - Please do not post your anger at other message boards by naming them. Admin will delete these posts with no warning. We have links to websites featuring boards which may be helpful to some. Take what you need and leave the rest.

POSTING PUBLIC ADMIN CHALLENGES: When an admin steps makes a decision, it is  after thought and discussion amongst all available admins, usually a minimum of three.  We make every attempt to address issues in a timely manner. If a member disagrees with the ruling and wants to add new information, they may privately contact admin. Any reasonable, brief input will be considered. However, public posts concerning admin decisions will be deleted, as will posts questioning the integrity of admin. 

PROFANITY - Profanity is strictly prohibited.

IGNORING ADMIN EDITING REQUESTS - If we think a poster has overstepped a boundary, admin may request the poster to reword the post. However, if time is of the essence or the poster refuses, admin may edit/delete post(s). Upon request, admin will notify the original poster of the changes and the reason for the change.

REPOSTING DELETED POSTS - Reposting admin-deleted posts serves no other purpose than to cause trouble and will not be tolerated.

We reserve the right to delete disruptive posts without explanation. You may inquire as to the reasoning, which you may or may not find satisfactory. An example might be a post we feel will cause serious offense to readers or is deliberately provocative.

MULTIPLE PERSONAS - As this website deals with abuse and its residual effects, trust among the members is paramount. IT IS PROHIBITED to create more than one persona. If you want to change your username, THIS IS PERMITTED. Please notify admin to request the change, and advise whether or not you will be making the change public information.

PASSWORDS - Passwords are not to be shared with other members for any reason. This protocol addresses the issue of safety - both physical and emotional for our posters.

COPYRIGHT - Give proper credit to the authors of original material you post. 

Unless you wrote the material, it is a copyright infringement to take posts to other boards/places. Taking another person's material is prohibited. Linking to posts however is permitted. 

11: AGE - You must be 18 and over to participate.


Banning/Restrictions

We reserve the right to ban any member who violates our policy or disrupts our community in any way.  Free speech is not an excuse for irresponsible posting behavior.

If you get a pm from admin to modify your post, take it seriously.

Failure to heed a pm will result in an official warning that has been reviewed by a minimum of 3 Admins. You will receive one warning by Private Message (PM) or email or in-board post. Expulsion is subsequently at the discretion of the Admin Team. Failure to comply will result in a ban or suspension.

Official warnings will remain for six months and then expire.

Suspensions range from one month to a year depending on the severity of the infraction and whether or not a previous suspension has been implemented. Severe infraction will result in permanent banning from the board.

We reserve the right to ban without explanation.

Banned users who create new usernames or personalities and return will be banned and WILL be reported to their ISP provider and/or employer (if ISP address routes back to employer). Note that we do not take contacting one's employer lightly. This measure is reserved for those who do not respect being banned.

Any poster deemed to be here purely to create disruption, or post spurious posts will be banned immediately. This includes all "fake" posters. Again, if action taken is mistaken, the poster concerned can contact the admins and Dr. Irene at catbox@drirene.com.

Additional measures, such as pm monitoring, may be taken by the owner without warning to prevent behavior that may undermine the integrity of the board.

Immediate, automatic bans without warning may be incurred by:

Posting offensive, obscene, abusive or derogatory comments on the board or sending them to board members in PM or email form will be automatically banned.

Racial, ethnic, gender based insults or other discriminatory posts.

Spamming.

Posting or linking to pornography, warez, any other illegal or illicit content

Advertising, commercial-related or competing products are all forbidden in any relation to your account. 

You will not advertise or link to other forums, products, or materials without the express permission of the admin team.

Impersonation of a user, in any mode of communication, is strictly prohibited.

Good Communications Tips

If you need to send a tough message and you are worried about how it may be perceived - Write it, then read it carefully. Look at the content, watch for particularly emotional words that may trigger. If necessary, get someone else to read it as well.

Respond in much the same manner. If you're on the receiving end of what you consider a personally offensive or triggering post, be careful about any immediate reaction that will only inflame matters.

Carefully compose a response in a word processor or on a sheet of paper to avoid impulsively posting a reply. Give it 24 hours; look over what you wrote. Is what you're saying useful, or is it an angry rant that may violate policy? 

To paraphrase Soren Kierkegaard: "People demand freedom of speech as compensation for the freedom of thought which they should have used in the first place."

You don't have to respond. Just because you got a nasty message doesn't mean you must respond in kind. If you feel comfortable, privately contact the person via email or PM. If the post is particularly obnoxious, don't respond, but report it to admin. Let us handle it. Disengaging is a wonderful tool to learn to choose when and how to do it, ton a message board or in our every day lives.

If you have knowingly or unknowingly irritated someone, say you're sorry. As well-intentioned as we are, we're Human. We can mess up. We hate hurtful posts, but even the best of us will send them out from time to time. Apologize! 

Remember: you can go to the person you hurt and say, "I'm sorry". It often isn't an easy thing to do, but can be critical in restoring peace and healing among members - and within yourself.

General Interest

Posts and threads will be regularly pruned  to reduce size and clutter without warning. You are responsible to regularly download material you may wish to keep.

Help Files - Before you contact a moderator, check the Help files and the information found in your "My Controls" section near the top of each CatBox page. In most cases your questions will be addressed. 

If you are linking to external content, link directly to that content. It is unacceptable to use link-thru systems to mask the originating URL.

We reserve the right to consider circumstance in any individual case. The decisions of Dr Irene and the AdminTeam are final. If you feel you have been unfairly treated, please contact the admins and Dr Irene at CatBox@Drirene.com.

"Oh no! I'm Locked Out and Can't Log In!"
If you find yourself locked, please do not automatically assume you are banned. The board can do funny things at times and it may be admin just need to discuss a particular post. Email Administration if you are locked out and unsure as to why.

Pictures may be posted as long as they are not explicit or offensive. If you plan to post more than one image, or the topic is based on graphics, please link the images rather than screening.

Signatures may contain images, but may not be larger than 300x100; 468x60 banners are also permitted (within reason). If your signature is larger than the allotted size, you will be asked to resize/ change your image. Tyr tp keep text signatures under 5 lines as well. Failing to comply with a moderator's request will result in the removal of your signature.

 

Pictures may not be offensive or against policy. If you post more than one image, or the topic is based on graphics, please link the images rather than screening.

Privacy Guidelines are printed here.

Many thanks to The CatBox Admins who jointly wrote and update the content of this page. Dr. Irene.

 

  Back Up Next

Website Design, Content, & Trubble ©1998-2006 Dr. Irene and the The Medical Communications Resource.  All Rights Reserved. The contents of this site may be reproduced expressly and exclusively for not-for-profit publication in printed format as long as the source URL, the website, and the author(s) are specifically mentioned. Sites interested in publishing specific pages online should link unless granted specific permission to reproduce.  For permission or commercial distribution, please contact Dr. Irene at Doc@drirene.comThe pages and posts in our forum, The CatBox, may not be reproduced. All material is intended for educational purposes and must not be considered a substitute for informed advice from your own health care provider.