Material posted here is intended for educational purposes only, and must not be considered a substitute for informed advice from your own health care provider.

Courtesy of Dr. Irene Matiatos Copyright© 1998-2001. The material on this website may be distributed freely for non-commercial or educational purposes provided that author credit is given. For commercial distribution, please contact the author at Doc@drirene.com

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Wednesday, May 02, 2001

Jay,

Thanks for sharing your story. I am beginning to be where you are--taking back my power. It feels good to not be an "emotional hostage." (At least most of the time)!

You have gone through so much, and I'm sure there is much yet to deal with, but you are so strong! Keep at this, Jay, and I will too!

Love you Jay!

Becky

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Thursday, May 03, 2001

Dear (((Jay))) I started on this site at about the same time as you did and I've watched your story unfold in the catbox and message boards. You really have come such a long way. It's a real inspiration seeing you change and grow. And your creative, beautiful spirit comes out in all of your writings!!! Take care and lots of hugs. Honey

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Thursday, May 03, 2001

Dear Jay,

I think writing this story is such a great way to wrap up the past hurts. You sound sooo well and together and I am happy to see you this way after all you've been trough, you deserve it!!! Your story will remain with us, I am sure and I feel privileged I've been able to witness part of its development.

Love , AJ

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Thursday, May 03, 2001

Right on Jay!!

I really believe that anyone can "transform" positively if they are committed and motivated. Unfortunately, it seems, most people are not.

However, you are the exception to the rule! I've seen your commitment to growth, and I've watched you fall down, and get yourself right back up again, and that takes courage and strength!

Good for you Jay!

Asha

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Thursday, May 03, 2001

Hi Jay - from Asha again

This poem makes me think of you Jay, and I think has a great message for all of us. (Hopefully, I'm not infringing on any copyright since I've listed the author's name. I have no idea how to contact her for permission.)

Winners Are People Like You

by Nancey Sims

Winners take chances

Like everyone else, they fear failing,

but they refuse to let fear control them.

Winners don't give up.

When life gets rough, they hang in

until the going gets better.

Winners are flexible.

They realize there is more than one way

and are willing to try others.

Winners know they are not perfect.

They respect their weaknesses

while making the most of the strengths.

Winners fall, but they don't stay down.

They stubbornly refuse to let a fall

keep them from climbing...

Winners don't blame fate for their failures

not luck for their successes.

Winners accept responsibility for their lives.

Winners are positive thinkers

who see good in all things.

From the ordinary, they make the extraordinary.

Winners believe in the path they have chosen

even when it's hard,

even when others can't see where they are going.

Winners are patient.

They know a goal is only as worthy

as the effort that's required to achieve it.

Winners are people like you,

They make this world a better place to be.

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Friday, May 04, 2001

Oh Jay,

I am so proud of you, you really have come a long, long way! The catbox taught us what not to do. BUT more importantly it taught us what we should do. I think this is unique. Thank you Dr Irene.

Jay, I remember the times you've fallen and your friends in the catbox said "get back up Jay" and you did. And with each fall you stood up again and used it as a stepping stone to the next step.

You've picked me up many times, and I believe you have listened to the TRUTH even when you could have denied it. You admitted your mistakes, which I think is unique also in catbox.

The catbox has taught me lots. It has taught me that I really have to do it all for me because I deserve a good life, you've shown this JAY. In fact my therapist says it has helped me to work on me. To see my faults and work on them. Where before I was so concerned on fixing my partner.

JAY you have shown how to work on yourself, take care of yourself, and LIVE and let LIVE.

YOU are a sane lady, who took the sane option of focusing on thy self.

Yipppeee!!! Jay reached the peak of one of her mountains, but I am sure she will be ready for another one when she slides down this one.

Take care, Jay, and thank you for being one of my many friends in the catbox. One day you could be another Dr Irene. (watch doc: Jay is getting very, very healthy) "Ask Jay," I think I like that! Hey, you've made no small movement yourself kiddo!

Love and best wishes Theressa

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Saturday, May 05, 2001

Dear all, I wish I knew what to say. Jay is for once, speechless or rather wordless. Without the Catbox cats and the many message board Sisters and Brothers, without especially Dr Irene and this site I think I would have been giving a very different ending. Dear Jay, hear this: "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." You were ready. And, you got stuck with me. (My gain.) You were ready and so you were going to make sure it would work.

The story continues, like all out stories and the real triumph comes when we can write that we feel fulfilled and happy wherever we are. The pain, for all of us will pass. Jay

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Sunday, May 06, 2001

Hello, not as much time as I'd like to chat (I tried to post somewhere earlier this week but things got eaten), but I wanted to send hugs to Jay and hope that things keep getting better. :)

-Astrid Hey wait a cotton-pickin' minute AuntieAstrid... I got better things to munch on. Hmmmph!

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Thursday, May 10, 2001

yippppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! Yeah! Yipppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

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Friday, May 11, 2001

GIGGLE above was Humankatkid being "a kid!" Thanks HKK! (He found the site again...) Jay

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Sunday, May 13, 2001

Jay, Good for you! You are definitely moving in the right direction. Sis

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Friday, May 18, 2001

Wow, an d blue pencil! Thanks Dr Irene and Trubble. Watch put for when Theressa finishes her psychology course and I get trained as a counsellor!

I guess as this is meant to be interactive I would like to open it up a bit. The catbox is so big that maybe others would like temporarily to post here?

Some points I want to make. Jay is healthy and that does not mean Jay does not struggle. In fact, I have arranged to have some counselling for what I suspect is post traumatic stress due to the appalling way social workers handled things with my daughter's accusations. This merits a book in itself..... I told Dr Irene a little of this when I first wrote to her.

BUT the thing is that life does go on even after the most awful stuff happens. The choice is to be weakened - a choice I initially took, and destroyed, or to be made stronger.

Yesterday I had to do a 'timelime" on a course. The last time I did this I found I was so well supported and I was envied as I had such a good network of support. Then my support network became lost through all the deaths and gradually depression took over.....

Yesterday was a pretty big turning point as a guy suffering from manic depression and doing the same training. turned to me and said "you give me hope I can find the way back." I hope I will never ever be as ill as this guy has been, but if someone else got hope because I could write a timeline where there was suffering and get back from the abyss then it shows what we have the capacity to do. ALL of us. The timeline had it's break and then it got back not on the track it was in an ideal world, meant to: but on track.

I could have said "I will never work again." I could have said my life is finished as I have a psychiatric history now." I could have let fate or the devil or whatever destroy me. I am glad I chose not to. WHEN YOUR LIFE FAILS THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY BACK>

This does not mean life is perfect. It means you use the resources you have better to care for you, I have found. So a part of each day I still get flashbacks and I still tense up in anger, and want to put the wrongs and injustices done to me put=right,, but I know that this will also pass. I can trust GOD knows and sees and understands the truth and that another year down the line the things i feel will, if I give them no power, have faded.

They could so easily have become a kind of bondage that would have left me a long term mental health user. Life is too short for that and thankfully I choose to remain sane!

I dont' know if this makes sense. Given this email was supposed to be interactive and so far mostly people have just kind of said "that's great' I wonder if it would now be good to open it up and let people ask Jay or others while it remains on the board.? Please feel free to do so.

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Friday, May 18, 2001

i am the evil duck

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Monday, June 04, 2001

Jay, I love you! B.

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Monday, June 04, 2001

Jay, I love you! B.

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Sunday, September 09, 2001

Jay, Thank you for sharing your heart! Truly, today, at this moment, you are My angel! Truly! I can feel your pain in your story. You ARE an inspiration to me, & others-through your pain-past & ongoing your strength comfronts the reality of your abuse experience. You are sane, powerful beyond belief (look what you did for me this morning!) & truely you have the given right to be you, to find You. I too queston whether I could even be an abuser-in the thwarted disentanglement of the abuse. Yet, transformation is nowhere for me, at this moment. Lost soul! Yes-oh isn;t it amazing how I posted on Yak about my 'battered soul' & yet here you've explained it so much more gracefully-it is the very truth of our 'lost & battered soul'. At what price, do we get this back! Thank you for sharing. Thank you for Being Here when I need you the most. Love Sandra (not there yet)

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