Comments for Good Mess

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Courtesy of Dr. Irene Matiatos   Copyright© 1998-2001. The material on this website may be distributed freely for non-commercial or educational purposes provided that author credit is given. For commercial distribution, please contact the author at Doc@drirene.com

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Sunday October 14, 2001
08:07 PM

test

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Monday October 15, 2001
09:58 AM

I'm glad you've learned a lot of good things about yourself in this relationship and have become a better person because of it. Be thankful that you never were actually with this person; it most likely would have been a LOT worse. Since it was an exclusively online relationship, I would suggest that it was based more on fantasy than reality. I have observed that many people (especially people with Borderline Personality Disorder, or people who are bottomless pits of need) use the internet as an attention-giving machine. You can get lots of attention from e-mail, but since there is no physical interaction, you don't have to give back, reciprocate, etc.; it's a way of being intimate and keeping your distance at the same time. I think that's what you happened upon without realizing it. Good luck to you. At least you know that no one will do this to you again. XX.

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Friday October 19, 2001
11:34 AM

The pain does end before death. I am 1 1/2 years out of an abusive relationship. I chose to work very hard on my own issues and anger so I would stop making the same mistakes and having so much pain in my life. For the first time in my life, I love myself, have peace and feel happy and grateful every day. I am still in a court battle with the abuser, trying to get $$ he owes me, but now when I see him I feel nothing. Not even anger and hatred. I know I wouldn't be at this point if I had not stopped focusing on how bad he was and started becoming the person I wanted to be. I wish you the best in your journey! S.

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Wednesday October 24, 2001
10:53 AM

I have the impression you put all your eggs into one basket with this internet-relationship. Surely such a relationship has limits to how far it can grow, like a tree in a small pot, and when those limits are reached you are left with nothing... Z.

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Thursday November 08, 2001
09:53 PM

I am out of a bad relationship. I am reading this to remind me of the crap I am not missing. Thank You. I am though wondering if there is such a thing as a healthy relationship?????? I have yet to see one... okay two......Dianna