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4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

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Comments:  Traumas as Social Interactions

Material posted here is intended for educational purposes only, and must not be considered a substitute for informed advice from your own health care provider.

Courtesy of Dr. Irene Matiatos   Copyrightę 1998-2003. The material on this website may be distributed freely for non-commercial or educational purposes provided that author credit is given. For commercial distribution, please contact the author at Doc@drirene.com

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Wednesday May 28, 2003

I'm not sure that I understand all of it, but I think that I'm on the tail end of all of that - finally- and I can certainly relate to the steps and to the reactions of friends and relatives to what I went through. And now,even though it's "old news" to many of them and not pertinent anymore, it is still very real to me. It just isn't attached to so much pain anymore. And it is true that I don't really need everyone else's validation anymore. I craved their validiation for awhile, but now I know that I survived it,I feel strong and I feel that I have learned so much from what I've been through. What they think at this point has little affect on me. Thanks for the run down of the steps. It helps to see it this way. Colleen

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Wednesday May 28, 2003

I still want to bash in my family's faces...I'm not to that advanced healing, yet...Oh the agony of the slow healing process.

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Thursday May 29, 2003

To better understand this, I've related it to a trauma I experienced many years ago, a miscarriage. I definately see some similarities between the phases you outline here and my experience dealing with the miscarriage and my family's reaction to it. At the end of the process, I was able to come to grips and write a poem, a sort of acceptance/farewell to my lost child. My mom was never able to bring herself to read the poem. That was okay, though because I had worked through my grief. Why does this "mismatch of psychological phases" exist? Why aren't the victim and his society on the same page? Is it always this way? Becky

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Saturday May 31, 2003

Dr. Sam has helped me to "put my finger on" the incompatibilities of society versus the individual within society. I have been trying to articulate it myself, but Dr. Sam does a wonderful job of accurately and precisely describing the convoluted thinking of society in general, vs. the victim's attempt to respond to reality. I really needed to read his material! It helps a great deal! L.W.

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Saturday May 31, 2003

narcisistic people devalue and humiliate people; Dr. Sam also wrote that they are in contant search of admiration and love, isn't that contradictory ? How could both be possible ?

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Saturday June 21, 2003

Hi Dr Sam, I am not sure what to make of this article but I do think generally we are stereotyped to get on with life regardless of how we are feeling. I wish that they taught about inner feelings and that at school. Sadly they don't. The other night my partner looked very down and I hugged him whilst he cried. He was shocked that I didn't judge him and that I told him how healthy it was to cry for his loss. Its sad that we can fight wars but not understand each others hurts. Take care Theressa

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Saturday June 21, 2003

Hi Dr Sam, I am not sure what to make of this article but I do think generally we are stereotyped to get on with life regardless of how we are feeling. I wish that they taught about inner feelings and that at school. Sadly they don't. The other night my partner looked very down and I hugged him whilst he cried. He was shocked that I didn't judge him and that I told him how healthy it was to cry for his loss. Its sad that we can fight wars but not understand each others hurts. Take care Theressa

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Sunday June 22, 2003

Dr. Vankin, Thanks for your article. Yes, it puts excellent words to what I experienced. Actually, I think you put very good words to the understanding of what victims experience. I was married to a diagnosed narcissist. The validation that victims think they crave will never be forthcoming. The only way to deal with a narcissist is to run away. Thanks for sharing these hard lessons. It is difficult to absorb, I will admit. But once we stop wondering about the why? we can take steps to end our victimization. I sought out your website when going through my separation and divorce almost three years ago. Your articles regarding malignant narcissists might not have impacted the outcome of my divorce, but they certainly helped me understand what I was dealing with. Thanks again, lg

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Thursday June 26, 2003

I recognize the abuse.if the abuser is your son how would you treat this situation since it is a relative???A mom never gives up hope that her son will return and become healthy. The articles on this site are excellent. They helped me realize I am a victim.

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Thursday June 26, 2003

I recognize the abuse.if the abuser is your son how would you treat this situation since it is a relative???A mom never gives up hope that her son will return and become healthy. The articles on this site are excellent. They helped me realize I am a victim.

Submit
Thursday June 26, 2003

I recognize the abuse.if the abuser is your son how would you treat this situation since it is a relative???A mom never gives up hope that her son will return and become healthy. The articles on this site are excellent. They helped me realize I am a victim.

Submit
Thursday June 26, 2003

I recognize the abuse.if the abuser is your son how would you treat this situation since it is a relative???A mom never gives up hope that her son will return and become healthy. The articles on this site are excellent. They helped me realize I am a victim.

Submit
Thursday June 26, 2003

I recognize the abuse.if the abuser is your son how would you treat this situation since it is a relative???A mom never gives up hope that her son will return and become healthy. The articles on this site are excellent. They helped me realize I am a victim.

 

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