We all have some kind of “Stuff” cluttering our lives. It
is so easy for the psychological “Stuff” to accumulate. It can come from
childhood disasters, broken relationships, etc. We store this “Stuff” in
closets, attics, basements, and garages of our being. On the surface no
one can see how we hide all the garbage. But as someone wants to get
close to us and opens one of our doors everything comes down on their
heads and almost suffocates the innocent victim.
It is not hard to understand as time goes by, that
everyone starts to avoid opening any of our doors. Sometimes we don’t
realize the garbage is all over. We think that when we got away from all
the mess and when the dump truck took that problem away from us, our life
would now be great. All this “Stuff” is different from one person to
another. A bit of post traumatic stress, a feeling of failure, blame,
anger, resentment, and on and on. We
hide it in the garage, attic, ………. but, anyone who visits us can’t step
over it, or walk around it.
We think this new person will help us get rid of all this
stuff. Some might want to help but realize as they start the task that a
lot of this stuff is sharp; it cuts and even stabs. All we have succeeded
in accomplishing is to continue floating in our garbage and drowning the
potential lifeguards that try to save us. If you see yourself living in
this horror house of garbage, maybe just maybe, you will realize it is
time to do something about it. (What you say? Should I move?) I don’t
feel this method works for a lot of people. I have been told sometimes
your “Stuff” moves with you.
What worked for me was Spring-cleaning. I went to each
area of my being and looked at and felt (the emotions) of each item
stored. I made a decision, which I call a “Mind Set.” My mind set was to
acknowledge forever that the items I throw away would never be allowed to
upset me again. They are in the past as pages of an old book. My mindset
of the future will be writing new pages and chapters to complete the rest
of my book of life. I have held onto some of that old stuff as a beacon.
For my personality today is a composite of the good and bad stuff in my
life. The experiences I have faced have made me grow. I am today all of
my experiences of yesterday. I’m not holding on to be a victim, martyr or
a masochist. I want to use these experiences as the foundation to build
my new house. My “Mind Set” for the “Stuff” I toss out and what I have
saved is the same, I will never let them upset me again.