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Narcs car is finally gone- I don't know if that means he is - but I think so


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#1 PrudenceB

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 10:50 AM

I don't know if he is just out right now, or if he left- but his car is gone, so there is a pretty good chance he is.

Just putting it out there.

I feel shakey but good.

I feel shakey because I don;t know for sure.

#2 lionheart

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 11:05 AM

Good. I'm glad for you. It should get a little easier for you now. Maybe have a little quiet celebration, you and a friend or two. Do something nice for yourself.

So he pulled a 'geographical'. But no matter where he sleeps he will still wake up with himself.

#3 PrudenceB

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 12:46 PM

LOL

yeah he did.

He is a "runner".

He is from the mid west.

he went to CA to work for like maybe a year - where he was arrested for DUI 1

then he went to NYC to make his first billion as an investment banker. That didn;t pan out so he went a little outside the city to work for a smaller form. That lasted a year or two.

Then he went to an adjoining state for 6 years and got a job at a firm. That lasted maybe a year. Dui #2

when I met him a year and a half ago he was busting at the seams to leave- "I am dating a girl in PA, maybe I will move there with her", maybe out west, I don't know.

then when we got together, it was a house here, several other states, he needed to have a house in his home town- a big one with a big kitchen for parties!

and all I heard all spring when he would call me to hang out and then tell me to "move on" was "I JUST WANT TO MOVE!!!....ON with my trial"

he has a thing about punishing by with holding so he didn't want me to know he was planning on moving at the time -

A guy from my bible study said the same thing you did- "he's one of those people who moves from place to place, praying on others and making a mess, then picks up and moves somewhere else and does the same thing all over again"

Yeah.

I still don;t know how I feel. But I can tell you, for the first time in a year, I have been able to get up and do my work and concentrate on it and feel hopeful.

I feel like a demonic opression has been lifted from me. It's really weird. All of a sudden, I am clear headed and driven. Although shakey - a bit -

LH- I have no idea who is crazier- him or me-

but I do know that somehow I feel like ... free...and I am grateful to God for giving me a week to get used to the idea of his going. It gave me a chance to e mail or leave a note on his windshield if that's what I thought was best. I did not think that was best. so what it did was give me a chance to "say goodbye" in my mind, and make the decision for myself that there is nothing to say and I just wanted him to go. It gave me a chance to get over the feeling that he "just left without saying anything" by allowing me an opportunity to get in touch with him to express any anger that I may have needed to, with a week to decide if I needed to, and I didn't. It gave me some input and some control over what I needed to do, rather than HIM deciding everything once again.

I didn't want to see him. And I didn't have to. But at least I got to choose.

#4 PrudenceB

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 02:06 PM

Nope still here-

he went to pick up a trailor to move.

it's being loaded right now-

ugh

#5 SteffieB

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 10:34 PM

This is awesome, Prudence! This is the real beginning of your healing! A black cloud is being lifted from over your life!

#6 PrudenceB

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Posted 01 August 2012 - 10:29 AM

last night I saw that the car was gone.

I saw the new tenant come here in the later afternoon- he's moving in today.

It's over. he's gone.

I am in a really weird space.

Free and happy.

Shocked that this is the reality.

"will you marry me?" man moved clear accross country without a word to me. Not an apology, nothing.

I wasn't expecting one, but somewhere in the back of my head, I still have trouble accepting that a person can be that way.

I am a little weirded out which I suspect will last for a few days until I get used to it.

But yeah- the dark cloud is gone....

#7 Kris

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Posted 01 August 2012 - 10:52 AM

He's GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :527: (<-----just wish we had one of these with its tail between its legs)

YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :snake dance: :snake dance: :snake dance:

:party: :071: :095: :drinks: :clapping: :motitiger: :653: :AddEmoticons04230: :fam21: :thumbs_up: :Gift4U:


Now you can get on with your life!!!! YAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!


:spudniklifter: :spudnikdiscoball: :spudnikbackflip: :spudnikparty: :dance013: :emoticon-cute-004: :smiley-transport018:

#8 PrudenceB

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Posted 01 August 2012 - 12:03 PM

ROFLMAO

#9 la_chica

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Posted 01 August 2012 - 02:35 PM

Hey Pru, I meant to post this before but I ran out of time so here you go. One thing to note about your physical pain: my doctor once told me that smart people often manifest emotional pain as physical pain. I had this problem with an ex-bf and when a close family member died- extreme lower back pain. As in, I couldn't put on my socks in the morning without crying. As in, they wanted to fuse the vertebrae in my back together. That might make it sound like a legitimate problem, but the only evidence they could see of a problem in the x-rays was a broken vertabrae that appears in some 60% of the population.

When things really started to slide downhill in my marriage, I started getting back pain again. So bad thatI would wake up in the middle of the night unable to breathe. The only thing that helped was sleeping in a different bed away from my abuser.

I am not discounting your pain or your physical problems, but you are a very smart lady and I wouldn't be surprised if some of your physical pain is a result of the emotional turmoil you experienced living next door to your abuser.

#10 PrudenceB

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Posted 01 August 2012 - 03:32 PM

I am 100% sure that you are correct that much of my health stuff is exacerbated by living next door to him. The stress for the last year has been totally debilitating.

...not so sure abut smart though...I mean, I picked THAT guy and saw flags and ran into the fire anyway...but madness is just one step away from genious :1087: :1087: :1087: ROFLMAO




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