Someone pointed out a month ago that I might be going through something called "trauma bond"... having this fantasy that Metal Man and I can be FRIENDS after a 6 year abusive relationship. While it's true two people can remain friends after a break-up, it's difficult for an abuser and his victim. Especially when he tells me "I want all of you or nothing". He doesn't want to be "just friends". We have had contact on several occasions... he emails me in which I never respond to. But I do make the occasional phone call to see if he's okay. I block my number so he can't call me. He does not know where I am at.
I am torn right now... missing the man I fell in love with... the good side of him. But knowing that going back to him would be a mistake. Because I know him and I know what will happen if I do. I do know he wants me to come back to him. I just want to get him completely out of my head!! I am afraid... that I'm going to run back to him. I don't want to... I really don't.
What is wrong with me?
Edited by Kit Kat, 18 June 2012 - 01:05 PM.