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So now he is calling me "W"


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#1 Coconut_007

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Posted 08 May 2012 - 08:21 PM

He is calling me "W" for whore. I hate him. I have sat here and listened to him degrade, humiliate and demean me and it is only getting worse. If only people knew. But they would not believe. So, it doesn't matter if people know. I know and God knows. H keeps telling me, "I will make sure that you get what you deserve."

Tonight's maltreatment is because D19 had an honors dinner at her school for her (top 15 in class) and for her most honored teacher. She didn't want STBX there and did not invite him. S11 had baseball game, so I let H take S to baseball and did not tell him about D's event. He of course found out and now I am the W. He keeps flipping me off and mouthing the words itch to me.

Will this ever end? I really cannot stand him. He is evil. I have another question: What do you think a judge would say about me if I took money out of a joint business account? Like $5000 or so? Would that make me look bad to a judge? H is still in the house and also keeps saying,"Well, I have money I can do this..... " or "I have money so I can do that...." I do HATE him.

I pray I get what I deserve - it has to be better than H.

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#2 ktc

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Posted 08 May 2012 - 09:28 PM

What an immature "a" hole. Grow up, and he does this in front of your kids? What a butt. Whatever name he calls you, try not to let it affect you - you know you are not what he says and it reflects him much more so than you. I was called an idiot, stupid, dumba-- , etc, and it used to sting and hurt but now it doesn.'t. The sting is gone and so is he. What hurts is that he could be so sweet, we had so many good times, and then this stuff. Hard to make sense of it. Ignore his immature words and actions. Next time he flips you off waive and laugh or blow a kiss. He is trying to get to you, don't let him

Edited by ktc, 08 May 2012 - 09:32 PM.


#3 PrudenceB

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Posted 08 May 2012 - 09:41 PM

Coco

I am so sorry. What he is doing is evil. You know. WE KNOW. God knows. You are not alone.

Frankly, I would take it all, lock his mule out of the house and file for divorce. He's running up crazy bills right? He's misusing business funds right?

I would put it into an accoount he can;t get to and pay the business expenses out of that and be ethical with it...and lock his mule out the same day :-)

I am so angry on your behalf.

You do not deserve this.
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#4 Coconut_007

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Posted 08 May 2012 - 09:51 PM

ktc,

I know I shouldn't take it personally, but it is hard. I hear him day in and day out and his behavior (misbehavior) in front of S11. It just breaks my heart that my son is hearing this from his dad. I try to block him out, then he just threatens to do more damage to the house (cupboard doors tonight). H threatened to rip the cupboard door off if I didn't answer him. I didn't answer - guess what? He didn't rip the cupboard door of either.

What a ......jerk!

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#5 Kokoca

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Posted 08 May 2012 - 10:24 PM

Coconut, I only have a few moments right now but let me send you all the hugs and good vibes I can.

The $5000 question -- what's a judge gonna do? Tell you to pay a portion of it back when they split up the assets. It is clear stbx is using money and other threats to control you so do what you need to do to take care of yourself and have faith that it will all get sorted out later.

#6 ktc

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Posted 08 May 2012 - 10:24 PM

I apologize , I have not been up to date here. Are you still together? Living together? Yes, that is hard - I know. It took me a year or more out of it until the names he called me didn't sting anymore. It hurt and angered me for a long time. Then at some point it just did not sting like it used to. They were his issue and no reflection of me. You will get there

#7 cocomama

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Posted 09 May 2012 - 07:16 AM

the meanie in me wants to say everytime he says this tell him "your mother" but that is not helpful. You are almost through Coconut and you have done 1000 times better than I think I would have so I think you should take the money you need and do what you need to do and ignore him as much as you can. That behavior is so childish and dumb.

#8 SteffieB

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Posted 09 May 2012 - 07:24 AM

Coco

I am so sorry. What he is doing is evil. You know. WE KNOW. God knows. You are not alone.

Frankly, I would take it all, lock his mule out of the house and file for divorce. He's running up crazy bills right? He's misusing business funds right?

I would put it into an accoount he can;t get to and pay the business expenses out of that and be ethical with it...and lock his mule out the same day :-)

I am so angry on your behalf.

You do not deserve this.


I second ever word. You don't deserve this crap, and I say you do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. He has earned NONE of your concern.

#9 claudifred

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Posted 09 May 2012 - 08:11 AM

Take the money.
He'll have to go after you in court to make you pay it back.
My ex took over $3,000 from our joint accounts months before either of us filed for anything. I had the choice to go after him for it... at the price of $300 an hour for my attorney plus filing fees. In the end, I just wanted AWAY from him, so I didn't bother.

$5,000, in the grand scheme isn't much. Do it.

And ignore his behavior. Just be smug and go about your business of getting out.
That will irritate him more than anything!
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#10 oneness

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Posted 09 May 2012 - 08:45 AM

I know how those words hurt, and I am so sorry you have to live like this! Can you find it within yourself to just block him out? You know he is just trying to hurt you, do your best to ignore his behavior.

I would talk to your lawyer about access to money. Or to someone who has been in your shoes. How much longer do you think it will be before you can get your divorce? What are your plans once it is over? Do you have a place to go - do you feel comfortable leaving now?

Sending you strength and love during this trying time!





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