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STBX can't even wait until divorce over to start dating


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#1 Coconut_007

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 06:31 PM

Found out that STBX is dating. I noticed that he is spending money from out joint business account to buy tickets to concerts that he is taking a "friend" to. Glad he is moving on. I just don't know why he won't leave the house. He says because his kids are here. He says I need to move out. "You need to go live with your mommy, that's what she wants anyway." He is so unaware. He says I am a man-hater and that I am getting divorced because of my mom, my friends, and my family and what they have said about him. This is so not true. I have felt the way I do about him for a very long time (I first found this site probably 13 years ago - before changes were made - I just wasn't a member yet).

I am making another appointment with the attorney and telling him everything I can to get this moving and to get him out of my life asap. He needs to know that H is dating.

I didn't want to be this ruthless woman going after everything I can get because I am not that kind of person. But, I am turning into one.

Got to be strong and trust God.

Later,

Coconut_007

#2 DawnC

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 08:12 PM

Lawyer, definitely. So typical. I'm sorry this is happening, but I hope the injustice will keep you fired up long enough to see this through. ((((hugs))))

#3 la_chica

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 09:17 PM

Going after everything you can is not a bad thing. You are entitled to it. Sorry you have to live with that right now. Lawyer, definitely.

#4 thebewilderness

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 11:06 PM

This may be what you need to get an order for his removal. Lawyer definitely.

#5 Coconut_007

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 11:35 PM

thebesilderness,

This is what I was hoping for. I am definitely telling the attorney what's happening with H now. The attorney does not know everything about H, because I didn't want to look like the crazy one and I wasn't going to drag H down. Now, I see what he is doing and I can't stand back and let it happen. He has not worked, there is no money coming in, I am doing practicum (yes, for free) and only work 2 days a week. The little money that I did bring in this week is never enough to suit him. So, there is no money to make house payments, pay bills, or buy groceries, but, hey he can go out on dates!

And he says that I have caused all of this. "We will lose the house and apartments, and everything because of your decision, starting with you going to school. That is all you care about." (his words). He also says, "I will say one thing, I will come out of this a h@ll of a lot better than you will, because you won't have anybody to do it for you."

What an @ss!!!!

Coconut_007

#6 Kris

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 11:36 PM

Yes, especially since it doesn't sound like your stbx is very financially responsible. I think you need to discuss with the lawyer what steps should be taken to protect yourself financially during this interim period before everything gets finalized.

#7 Kokoca

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Posted 09 March 2012 - 07:00 PM

Awww, Coconut, I'm so sorry.

These people that can't take care of themselves or take responsibility for themselves eh? It is enough to drive you mad. Please don't go mad. You are too good for that.

I hope the legal system can help you out. You gotta think there is going to be something there that will help you. It is not right that he's spending your joint financial resources and then turning around and threatening you with financial ruin.

You know that all those horrible things he's saying are just about trying to get control of you, right? They aren't true. It is not your fault if he recklessly takes you into financial ruin -- he's doing that himself. Your friends and family did not turn you against him -- he did that all himself. I suspect he's not staying there because of the kids either. A real man would suck it up, move out, and find the best way to have a good relationship with his kids. He's using them as pawns in his game for control.

Take good care of yourself. You're gonna get throught his.

(((Coconut)))




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