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Mean words about God to teenage daughter


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#1 peach_papoose

peach_papoose

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Posted 29 October 2009 - 03:05 PM

My oldest daughter who is now 17 has moved back in with me after having lived six hours away for a couple years (with my best friend for most of it, but the final few months she chose to couch surf and live on the streets and in shelters coz she doesn't like my friend's new fiance).

This daughter occasionally goes over to her dad's house (a five minute drive from here), usually when he's not there, just so she can watch some TV shows she likes, coz he has those channels and I can't afford them/don't want them.

Almost every time my daughter has been at her dad's and has contact with him, she comes home saying, "Dad is such a DOUCHEBAG!" That's the name she's given him.

Last night, my daughter came home from her dad's place, toning it down a little this time by saying, "Dad's such a D-bag."

I said, "Well, that's a nicer way to put it than the way you usually do. Thank you for that." (I'm trying to get her to stop saying swear words and other derogatory talk around here. She's working on it and I appreciate that).

When I asked her what makes her say that about her dad, she said, "Well, I was telling him how I had a really bad day today at school. And you know what he said to me? He said, 'If you think you had a bad day today, just you wait and see, God can make you have a lot worse day than that tomorrow.'"

I told her, "That's not at all like God. He doesn't 'make' us have bad days. Things happen. It's just life. If anything, God is the One we can count on when things do go bad. He's the One we can turn to for help!"

That so saddened me, that the abusive ex should use God as a means of upsetting his own daughter. She later said, "I wish Dad wouldn't try to psyche me out like that. It makes me feel so discouraged about even going to school tomorrow. I'm not going to school tomorrow."

I told her, "I don't think you should stay home from school. Try to make it. Really try, okay? You have an appointment with your counselor tomorrow. Maybe you can bring this issue up with her. She might have some coping strategies that will help. I don't know what to do myself."

She said she would try to go to school. She went to bed early as usual, but morning came and again she slept in as too often she does. Thankfully she's in an alternate program at school that is more flexible about attendance than regular school, but I don't think it's good for her to miss too many days.

Anyway, I just had to come talk about this as it's bothering me. :(

#2 michigan_mom

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Posted 29 October 2009 - 03:14 PM

It allways hurts to see someone hurt or say something hurtful to your children. And then to use God to do it....my ex used to do that to me all the time. I would get sooooo angry!!!! he would make me feel horrible if I missed a day at church....he would tell me "i didn't love God" and "that is what my problem is...I don't love God" well, as a ministers daughter...it would just hurt me for him to say that. And for someone to hurt someone else and use God to do it, they will someday have to answer for that...what we can do is not accept their abuse and stay away from it.
I hope that your daughter will continue to get her schooling and feel positive about herself.




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