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Narcissists and Hypochondria


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#1 Tera

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 12:44 PM

I was reading all that stuff about narcissism a few days back and was amused by the mention of hypochondria in them. My X, I believe he has many of these traits...and had to chuckle today when he mentioned 'something going on with his body inside'...LOL! It's true, he gets under stress and when his usual defenses fail him, it always ends up he was 'sick'. I can recall times spanning two years when this is true. When he can't deal with all of the reality rushing in his face he plays physically ill...and maybe he really does feel it...just ruminating. He's been pushing me pretty hard to get back in, the whole nine yards...apologies, promises of happily ever after, even attempting humor and charm...says he can only confess his sins 'face to face'...because I've refused to see or talk to him. I held strong. Declined a 'dinner date'...now he's 'sick'....YA :p

#2 36 inch inseam

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 12:50 PM

Reminds me of this kid Timmy when I was in like 4th grade. We'd all be playing out in the playground at recess and soon as he started loosing at a game or something he would conveniently pretend to pass out on the ground complete with drool. Even at that age I used to roll my eyes and think, "oh brother...."

I bet your ex has pulled a lot of "Timmys" in his lifetime.

#3 watermelonpunch

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 03:20 PM

See, now the narcissists, and one in particular, I've known, ... Not hypochondriac themselves - but like "munchausen by proxy" or whatever.

Surrounding himself with mentally & physically ill people... And in most cases, making it out like their problems were much worse than they were. In some cases, claiming people had problems they didn't say they had and didn't appear to have. :wacko:

When my gallbladder disease got bad... Granted I was sick a few months, and was having trouble getting diagnosed at first... But it's not like I had cancer.

What did the narcissist do?
He offered to help, but not in any way useful. He offered his girlfriend's massage services free... without her prior knowledge or permission, I'm sure.
And to me, and others we knew... he was talking about me being permanently disabled... :wacko: Talking like it would be the last few years of my life.
Maybe if I was 75 this could be a concern... But not at 30. :wacko:

This is just one example though. He had friedns who were disabled, and were sick... but I always suspected he was exaggerating them too.
He, however, always professed to be in excellent health.
At least physically. LOL.

#4 srob98

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 03:56 PM

Well, I have no idea what labels need to be pinned on my stbex...he fits bits and peices of a lot of them....but hypochondriac and I can definitely say he WAS.....

He fell at a softball game and decided he broke his ribs, his wrist, and two of his fingers....what a wussy....he had nothing wrong with him....he, of course, went to the doctor, but only after complaining and moaning to EVERYONE near....and loving it when they suggested he go see someone.... Seriously. we had a girl on our softball team who collided with a runner at first base...she played the rest of the game with a broken arm and a huge piece of her hair clip imbedded in her skull...she had no idea....

Then, he decided he had throat cancer, right around the time I had my morning sickness....he was SO SURE it was cancer, and he was REALLY UPSET with me when i did not rush home that day or call the second I thought he would be out of the doctor's office. I knew there was nothing wrong...and he was SO looking for sympathy....he hated the fact that I was actually sick, and he was missing out on his usual attention....

And, he told me all the time how he just threw up....and I don;t think he really did...he would just say he did....but usually, you can pretty much hear that...and I never did.....I told him he threw up more than anyone I knew...then he acted all surprised, but I think he was thrilled, until I told him how weird it was, because, even with the morning sckness, it was hard for me to throw up....I WANTED to desperately, but couldn't. Then, he got all defensive about it....

So, yes....HUGE hypochondriac....but I think that fell right in with the rest of him....he loved to manipulate with guilt and pity...those were his favorites....he LOVED to be a victim!

My favorite line about hypochondriacs....

Please get down off that cross, they need the wood....

#5 ipgirlbreaksfree

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 05:07 PM

My favorite line about hypochondriacs....

Please get down off that cross, they need the wood....


ROTFL :p :p :p

Mind if I borrow that one? I've always said my H has a Christ complex (not being sacriligious, I am religios myself) but sometimes I think that HE believes that his suffering can vicariously atone for the sins of the world. He sure enjoys judging people and their sins. And hypochonria? My stbx is the biggest hypochondriac and wussy I know. It's funny, though, because it didn't really start until 2 1/2 years ago with what I call the Great Pesticide Fiasco of 2004 (it's a long story). Up until then he didn't want to admit when he felt bad, and generally he never got sick anyway. And he looked down on people who did get sick as inferior. He utterly refused to acknowledge when I had some health problems. I was just making a big deal out of nothing. But since August of 2004, he has become the biggest hypo. I used to catch him all the time sitting around the living room with a thermometer in his mouth, and he was always surprised when he didn't have a fever. He had to go to the emergency room, right before he went out of town for a business trip, because he had chest pains and he was sure he was having a heart attack. Nope. And when he is actually sick, he's a wussy about it and it's always one upmanship. This spring we were both sick at the same time, caught the bugs from our kids, who were also sick. H had pneumonia. And I quickly found out that pneumonia trumps bronchitis, even with a bad case of pleurisy thrown in. I was so sick and could hardly breathe and I had to drive myself to the emergency room after work. I was there until about 10:00 pm. H stayed home from work for 3 days. He was in the house all alone all day because the kids were in school and I was at work, even though I was sick as a dog. Then at night, he wouldn't help with the kids because he "needed to get well." That went on all week. And he did the same thing on the weekend. I won't even go into all the crazymaking details. By the time the next Monday rolled around I was total exhausted. I had taken care of the kids all weekend while he sat on his lazy @ss, "recuperating." As I was going out the door that morning, going into a work week already worn out physically, he had the nerve to ask me how I was. I said, "Exhausted!" Well, take care of yourself, he said in his (false) sympathy voice. What in the World? I wanted to turn around and give him a swift kick. But I didn't even bother to say anything. Just shook my head. At that point, I knew I was on my way out and he was a major loser. But it still pissed me off, big time. So yea, I think hypochonria is a very real issue for narcs. It gives them a way to control the situation totally in their favor.

ipgirl

#6 kqteaze

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 06:33 PM

For Spawn of Satan being sick was a competition. If I had a cold, he had pneumonia; if I had an upset stomach, he had the flu, if I had a headache, he had a brain tumor :wacko: . If one of the kids were sick, he ALWAYS "caught" whatever they had, despite spending no time with them. I was with them consistently and very rarely ever caught any kind of cold/flu/bug. Needless to say, I never received any offers of help if I was sick. Not to mention he wouldn't accept any offers of help or anything (aspirin, a tylenol, alka-seltzer) that might alleviate his "suffering."

Mine also consistently "threw up", just like srob's. Ditto with never hearing anything that would actually suggest he was throwing up. He also never missed work because of this mysterious "flu" that made him ill. Personally if I'm puking, I'm not going to work, end of story. But he was a saint, the hardest working man in America ;) , going to work when he was so ill. Whatever. The man was a self-made martyr.

Towards the last 6 months of our marriage more often then not, he would spend entire weekends in bed claiming his back hurt. He always said he fell off a ladder or some other such accident (he's an electrician) at work but would never mention it during the week, only until he was laying prone in bed on a beautiful, sunny Saturday afternoon. He'd lay in bed the entire day, watching tv and sleeping, only venturing out to rummage through the refrigerator and glare at whomever happened to be near by. Funny how he never filed a Workman's Compensation Claim after any of these calamities either. :xxx:

He also greatly exaggerated the illnesses of others. When his mother had undergone cancer treatment(which I'm not saying isn't serious) and was in remission, complete with skydiving on her 65th birthday, he still told anyone who would listen how his mother was gravely ill with cancer. Complete with tears in his eyes and the hushed tones of a mourner. When his mother passed away seven years AFTER the cancer and with a completely non-related illness, she immediately reached Sainthood Status in his eyes. And he still told people that she died from cancer which was untrue. She also speaks to him from Heaven and helps him at work (long story).

He would even exaggerate how sick I was to other people if I happened to come down with something. He would tell them how he was waiting on me hand and foot and how demanding and difficult I was but he would take care of me. :X

Okay, I'm thoroughly irritated thinking about this. I'll stop now, lol! :p

#7 ipgirlbreaksfree

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 08:47 PM

ewwwww I'm tossing my narcissist in the ring on this one.
I don't know about anyone else's narcissist, but I know mine would be 'cured' if they could just surgically remove his head from his :-


LOL! :p

#8 welfaremomma

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 09:22 PM

I've seen a lot of narc. (cannot spell it) tendancies with stbx grinch. I don't usually get sick, but I do take care of myself once a month because I tend to hemmorage. It got to the point where I was afraid to slow-down like I really have-to for one day because he resented the fact that I had to take care of myself.
That thing about thinking other people are weak-or faking when they are ill was something else he did. He showed contempt for anyone who was ill, yet he would say that he thought he was full-of-cancer, and imagined that he had hereditary cancer from an uncle that he was only related-to by marriage.
And any other time that I did get sick it was that competition-thing or just total abuse. I had to call an ambulance to come get me once after vomiting for three straight days and nights.
Grinch refused to help me get to the doctor and convinced me to wait-it-out. When I finally called the ambulance, I figured he would have let me die rather than help me get to the hospital.
After I got better I never heard the end of him telling me how he "helped' me and 'stayed with" me when I was in the hospital. He did come visit for a few hours but I think he was afraid it would "look bad" or that I would tell someone how horrible he is if I was there alone.

#9 srob98

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 09:26 PM

Oh my gosh WM....your post made me remember his other very weird hypochondria action....he was always talking about high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and heart failure becuase his dad had it, and did pass from it, unfortunately. Of course, this was his STEPfather....he barely knows his real father... I tried to bring up that fact, but he just sort of glossed over it.....he was really happy when he found his pressure and cholesterol were a little high...just thrilled to have a little something wrong with him....sick....

#10 welfaremomma

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Posted 05 January 2007 - 11:40 PM

ok--here's the weird thing about stbx-grinch and his fantasy genetic cancer from his uncle that he wasn't related-to by blood; the uncle was a popular guy and a fireman or cop or something, and he had a grandiose send-off, a big funeral parade and a large out-pouring of sympathy from the community.
For some reason, that funeral made a big impresion on grinch, and I think that's what made him want to catch that kind of cancer?
He did the SAME thing. Despite being told the difference between hereditary disposition to certain kinds-of cancer and the fact that he shared no genes with his uncle, he continued to insist that he was not only at risk because of heredity, but that he had it-BAD!
I that that he just wanted the parade and the big fuss.




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