I was an abused guy!
Just a note of thanks. I don't know if this will get back to you, but
in case it does ..
I was in an abusive relationship for 13 yrs. I am resilient,
educated, philosophical, gentle, kind - I and expected to be rewarded
with the same respect and kindness. I am a great ER doctor and had
thought I was OK at psych issues ...... little did I know!
The harder I tried, the worse it became. I fortunately recognized the
destructive dangerous activities and thoughts that grew the past 6
years. Although it finally took 3 months for the penny to drop.
Eventually I happened on your site and all fell apart, or actually
fell into place! :)
I left "home", battled my "giving up" guilt, was shut out of my house
and heirlooms were nearly sold, the legal system let me down, and
financially I took a huge hit. But I found peace again. My ex-wife
was a lawyer and used her skills to "win". I am happy to say I
explored the world and my mind.... and found peace and happiness. I
found a great psychologist/ psych professor (and a second opinion,
just in case) and now enjoy work more, laugh more, a new "love," and
the real me shines.
It has been quite the battle, but life is awesome.
Your website is great. I read your list of critical things and wrote
them down and kept them in my wallet for about 9 months. So many of
them fit, it scared me ... and helped me stay focused on what I forced
myself to believe as true. And then I gradually began to know them as
true and let down my vigilance. I have tuned myself to red flags and
smile now when I see them in myself or in others. No better place
than an ER (patients and staff alike). It is now a source of health
and joy to stay so tuned in!
I am from (a distant continent) and recently spent time with my "old
friends" who were delighted to have me "back" after all these years!
I am at work now and just in a slow period and thought I would check
your site for new things. I hope you get this ... and if not, then
maybe just the positive energy will get to you!
Dear Dr. Evan,
And "Best" to you too! As you see,
your letter did get through to me - as did your positive energy
"attachment." Just in time for the Holidays!
As you well know, being "too caring"
certainly has nothing to do with one's education, socioeconomics, sex,
brain power, or country of origin. I'd like to thank you for
taking the time to write and inspire other men in pain to persevere in
helping themselves as well as to educate those people who believe that
only women are the victims of abuse.
May 2003 bring you everything you
want it to.
Warmly, Dr. Irene.