How to get Dr. Irene's Advice: Look here!

Ask The Doc Board

The CatBox Archives

 

(Archives)

4/14 Interactive Board: Codependent Partners

3/23 Interactive Board: He's Changing... I'm Not...

3/1 Interactive Board: D/s Lifestyle

1/14 Interactive Board: My Purrrfect Husband

12/12 Interactive Board: What if He Could Have Changed?

10/23 Interactive Board: Quandary Revisited

8/24 Interactive Board: Quandary! What's Going On?

7/20: Dr. Irene on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness

6/12 Interactive Board: Unintentional Abuse

11/7 Interactive Board: Is This Abusive?

12/29 Interactive Board: There Goes the Wife...

11/4 Interactive Board: A New Me!

10/8 Interactive Board: Seeming Impossibility

9/8 Interactive Board: My Ex MisTreats Our Son

5/1 Interactive Board: I feel Dead - Towards Him

4/26 Interactive Board: Why is This So Hard?

4/19 Interactive Board: I Lost My Love...

4/7 Interactive Board: Too Guilty!

Doc@DrIrene.com

Poem: I Have A Right

Poem: I Have A Right...  Your ALT-Text here

by Susan

April 26, 2006

This is a woman's poetic protest to her husband... She practices what she asks for.  Thank you and may God bless you and yours. Dr. Irene

I have a right to a good life

 
You don't have a right                                                            I have a right
To show that your interests or activities                                 To be number ONE
Are more important than me or mine                                         In my partners life
        That's not showing that you love me                               
 
You don't have a right                                                            I have a right to be
To expect me to hear all you have to say                                 Heard, listened to, treated
And imply that you are bored with what I have to say              Like my feelings and opinions matter
                                                                                           And not be patronized
 
You have a right, but it's uncaring and mean,                           I have a right
To send me off into the dark without                                      To feel safe, protected
Making sure that I'm safe                                                     And loved by you
           How can you love me if you don't care?
 
You don't have a right                                                            I have a right to
To try to make me feel bad or guilty                                         (And I have)
            Even if you feel bad about yourself                              A clear conscience
 
You don't have a right                                                            I have a right
To keep me from my friends and family                                  To like and socialize with
Or to fight with me before I see them                                     Whomever I want
           Even if you don't like them                                                 If you love me
                                                                                                     you'll come along
                                                                                                    And be nice
 
You don't have a right                                                            I have a right
to be condescending towards me                                           To be human and to make mistakes
If I make a mistake (or any other reason)                                     And apologize ONLY if I think I should
 
You don't have a right                                                            I have a right
to make fun of me or mimic me                                               To be treated as an intelligent person
even if you think what I say is stupid                                           (which I am)
 
You don't have a right                                                            I have a right
to yell at me or embarrass me in front of                                To feel comfortable around you,
Co-workers, friends, family OR people I don't know                     With or without others around
         Even if you think it's "not a big deal"                                   And I am not "overreacting"
 
You don't have a right                                                            I have a right
To make jokes to humiliate me and hurt my feelings                To my confidence
        Even if you are "only kidding"                                              Do you want to take it
                                                                                                    From me,
                                                                                                    Because you need it for you?                 

You don't have a right                                                            I have a right

to throw away my things without my permission                       To choose what I will keep
            Even if I left them out too long                                         Or discard
 
You don't have a right                                                            I have a right
To break things that I care about                                          To know that my belongings will be
            Even if you want my attention                                     Handled carefully and replaced if broken
 
You don't have a right                                                            I have a right
To stand there and say nothing                                              To have a Partner who stands by me
If our kids are being disrespectful to me                                     It teaches Our Children boundaries
           Even if you think I'm wrong                                               It teaches them Love, Commitment,
                                                                                                Partnership and Respect.
                                                                                                It teaches them how to have
                                                                                                a lasting relationship
 

It makes them feel secure. It makes me feel secure. It is the greatest gift you can give to your family.

 
You don't have a right                                                             I have a right
To look for things to say to hurt me                                         To have a partner
because you resent my happiness or success                         Who is proud of me
 
You don't have a right                                                             I have a right                                                         
to be rude to me, tell me to get out                                          To be treated as you would a friend
Or ignore me                                                                                 Am I not more important to you
            Even if you're in a bad mood                                             Than your friends?

You don't have a right to manipulate me

 
You don't have a right                                                              I have a right
to pressure me to have sex                                                      To have a lover
            Even if you are mad that I haven't                                        Who wants to make love to me
            "Given it to you" in a while                                                    And makes me want to make love
 
You don't have a right                                                               I have a right
To blow up at me if I tell you what bothers me                                   To get mad and tell you why
 
You don't have a right                                                               I have a right
to call me horrible names or swear at me                                   To always be treated with respect
even if you think I "deserve it"                                                           Even if you think I "don't deserve it"
 
You don't have a right to threaten me                                         I have a right
No matter how much you need to be in control                           To control what I do
 

I have a right to make my own decisions about me and my life

 
You don't have a right                                                                I have a right
to throw things at me or in my direction                                      To be treated respectfully
            Even if you are angry at me                                            ALWAYS
 
You don't have a right to lunge at me and to scare me                  I have a right
            Even if you think I'm annoying                                        To feel safe
 
You don't have a right                                                               I have a right
To hit me or push me, purposely or "accidentally"                       To BE safe and to be treated
With objects, your fists, arms, feet                                            Respectfully. ALWAYS.
or any part of your body
                                                                                  It is not O.K. to abuse me
You don't have a right to hurt me                  Even if it's not too often
Even if you just hate me today                                                           
                                                       It is not O.K. if you've had a bad day
 
Even if you've had a bad childhood                 It is not O.K. if you are in a bad mood    mood                                                                                                                                  Or have had too much to drink                      It is not O.K. if you think I deserve it
 

IT IS NOT O.K.  EVER.  FOR ANY REASON.

               
                                                                    It's cowardly

                                                                    - Susan