31, 2000 Updated December 9, 2000
As of early June, 2000, Yolanda and I will be together
for 11 months, eclipsing by two months the longest consecutive amount of
time we have spent together. We had been talking about getting
married for several months and decided that June 25 would be the best time
for her family, as they would be coming to the United States in mid-June.
Everything has been fine with our relationship - as long as I remember to take
care of myself first. I have to always remember that I am very
important and that my needs must be met or else this relationship will
only be about Yolanda. I must remember that Yolanda's MO is to get
what she can from anyone, including the person she is with, so I have to
be very careful that I get what I deserve. :)
Yolanda is a very good woman who has learned how to cope from her family
and from her one relationship. She has to learn how to have a good
relationship with a good person. She deserves to be happy and she
deserves to be loved; she just doesn't always believe it or know how to
attain it. She has learned different schemas to deal with problems
and relationships. Sometimes she withdraws and becomes depressed due
to whatever is on her mind, from her family problems to her daughter.
In many cases it has nothing to do with me. We have learned to deal
with so many things by saying, "OK, listen to me as my friend."
That seems to help a lot. It temporarily takes away the relationship
aspect. I admit this in not an easy thing to do, but it helps.
Yolanda is more apt to open up and say what is on her mind if we do it
that way. I think Yolanda is a very lucky girl...
I have also learned how to detach myself from our relationship when it
suits my needs. I no longer get upset for long periods or depressed
because Yolanda is not behaving as I think she should. After all,
she is drastically different from me and I must take that into account.
That does not mean that I have to accept how she is behaving, but I just
step back and allow her to work it out. She usually comes around
sooner than later. :)
I am happy with Yolanda. She is definitely a very quirky, strange
woman, but I love her dearly and I know that I will never meet another
woman like this. I know she is going to drive me nuts at times, but
I also know that I cannot live without her and I want to start a life with
her. She is my friend, woman, and partner and I plan to be married
to her forever. I know that I will always be a great partner to
Yolanda because I want to make her happy and I want to go through the rest
of my life with her. I know it will be pretty thrilling, exciting,
and scary riding with Yolanda, but I like roller coasters.
Good stuff! You learned your lessons
well. You are happy. You are taking care of yourself. You are getting what
you want. This is music to my ears. I love happy endings!
God bless you kiddo. Thank you for
responding to this individual's request for an update. Thank you for
having let me into your life. Irene
Dear Readers, no promises that J will
log on and comment, but feel free to post your comments on this
individual's difficult, but ultimately rewarding, saga. This is truly an
amazing story! (Ps: Dear "Yolanda" - I'd love to hear from you
I received a Christmas card yesterday...
From J & Yolanda. They were married last June, living happily ever
I want to read the posts.
2001: J's 2001 Update